Fanfictioning Fanfiction: Pokémon Ruby Destiny

[somebody probably]

Skitty! It's a kitty!

[Eco]

Taillow, you'll want Fly later (And Swellow is basass)

[Naem]

Chapter 3: Things Actually Happen


"The man with flying wings!"

Yeah, sure, I guess I could keep kicking ass in this place until I get my Pokémon back, but first I'd have to buy some--


... Oh. Anyway, yeah, gotta buy some Pokéballs.


Goddammit.

Can you believe we're three updates in and we don't even have the Pokédex yet? Luckily, that's about to change.


Oh, isn't this where Birch's kid is supposed to be?


Oh God, I can hear her voice. Brace yourself, Winston. Be a man.


Tamashii: Oh, hey there, WINSTON!
_{Oh LORD NELSON'S TROUSERS it hurts.} Listen, Birch told me to come here, he--
Tamashii: ...Oh, I see, my dad gave you a POKéMON as a gift.
... Does he do this KIPPERS often?
Tamashii: Since we're here, let's have a quick battle! I could show you my PIKACHU in action!


Oh, now I KNOW you've got to be in on this, you're clearly rubbing it in my face.

So! As you might recall, the rival fight in the original Ruby/Sapphire involved, as usual, a level 5 starter with a type advantage over yours. In this game, the rival's starter is set to a level 10 Pikachu, no matter what. A level 10 Pikachu that already has Electric moves.


Picked a water starter? Well, BLARGH you, have fun grinding just to get past here.

... But luckily, the same program I used to get Psyduck as a starter lets me edit this Pikachu's level. And that's exactly what I did, to even out the playing field.


... This just strikes me as somehow unfair.


Whatever, I am done--


... Wait, what? Since when can Pikachu do that? I know Pithius couldn't. _{Could he?}

Abilities were introduced in Gen 3, and there's a good number of them. Some inflict status effects on contact, like Static here, some boost stats under certain conditions; some made certain Pokémon useful, some made no practical difference.


HEY. WAIT. WAAAAAIT. I'VE GOT YOU ALL FIGURED OUT. You were going to wipe me out! That's why you had a Pikachu with Thundershock, isn't it?!


AM I RIGHT?!

wants to see me?
NO. NO, THAT IS NOT WHAT I'M NINJAING SAYING.
Tamashii: Wow.., how nice of you.
... Oh, I'm outta here.


AND YOU GET AWAY FROM ME.


Man, what's so special about this Electrike thing anyway for everyone to want one?


~*~BACKTRACKING~*~ ugh


God, finally. This had better be worth it.


Said the bastard with gritted teeth.
Birch: My kid's been helping with my research for a long time. Here, WINSTON. I ordered this for my research. I think you should have this POKéDEX. I already gave one to my kid. Now this is yours.
... And it's empty. Figures.
Birch: The POKéDEX is a high-tech tool that automatically makes a record of any POKéMON you meet or catch. I think that would be helpful to your journey. But that came from the HOENN region, so it might only record the POKéMON's that lives there.

Why yes, that last sentence was THAT badly mangled in the ROM itself. And yes, it is the perfect excuse for Ja Gold not to bother editing the Pokédex.


I probably could have figured out what you want me to do to get my Pokémon back if only you knew how to form a proper sentence.

Tamashii: Oh, wow, WINSTON! You got a POKéDEX, too! That's great! Here! I've got something for you, too!


Jesus, what IS it with these people and Electrike?


Huh. This Pokédex is fancier than mine, anyway.

No. 158 Psyduck
Duck Pokémon
PSYDUCK uses a mysterious power. When it does so, this POKéMON generates brain waves that are supposedly only seen in sleepers. This discovery spurred controversy among scholars.



Yeah, running shoes, yadda yadda.

Now, it's time to CATCH SOME NINJAING POKÉMON.


Great, a bird.

No. 025 Taillow
Tinyswallow Pokémon
TAILLOW courageously stands its ground against foes, however strong they may be. This gutsy POKéMON will remain defiant even after a loss. On the other hand, it cries loudly if it becomes hungry.


Great, a... bug of some kind. Like a non-poisonous Paras or something.

No. 042 Nincada
Trainee Pokémon
NINCADA lives underground for many years in complete darkness. This POKéMON absorbs nutrients from the roots of trees. It stays motionless as it waits for evolution.


Great, a SMASHINGLY pink Caterpie.

No. 014 Wurmple
Worm Pokémon
Using the spikes on its rear end, WURMPLE peels the bark off trees and feeds on the sap that oozes out. This POKéMON's feet are tipped with suction pads that allow it to cling to glass without slipping.


Finding free crap is always good too.


... Great, a... _cute seal. óvò

No. 173 Spheal
Clap Pokémon
SPHEAL is much faster rolling than walking to get around. When groups of this POKéMON eat, they all clap at once to show their pleasure. Because of this, their mealtimes are noisy.


Great. A cat.

No. 061 Skitty
Kitten Pokémon
SKITTY has the habit of becoming fascinated by moving objects and chasing them around. This POKéMON is known to chase after its own tail and become dizzy.

Well, damn, isn't this a great selection of Pokémon to choose from? _{Eenie, meenie, miney, mo...} Okay, I guess using the pink kitty might be a good distraction technique.


And then, we found one of those fabled Electrikes of legend, but alas...




... Funny how I only ever seem to see these in stock when I'm carrying a Pokédex.


I always tend to buy ten of every kind of Pokéball, even if you only get a free one when you buy ten of a... well, standard Pokéball. I am OCD.


Ah, good old Oddish.

No. 88 Oddish
Weed Pokémon
During the daytime, ODDISH buries itself in soil to absorb nutrients from the ground using its entire body. The more fertile the soil, the glossier its leaves become.


See, these aren't even rare, this is like the fifth I've seen just in this patch of grass!


... Four Pokéballs and no catch? Ninja it, then.



WE ARE READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOLL _{for now anyway}

[Sergeant Dull]

Smoke Weedin'

[somebody probably]

Infatuates on contact? Damn that's just a cruel ability.

[dynamicsonic]

I'd love to see Winston's expression when he sees the Eldritch Abomination that is Shedinja.
That one HP mon.

[Oberstleutnant Insipid]

I Pokesav'd quite a nasty Shedinja.