SV Slasher

[Rhinoce Breakdancerus]

CC-2
Lightnix-1
Max-1

"We're missing something" the head counselor said, as Bish's body was dragged out of the cabin and dumped in the lake. "All the weird counselors have been killed off, and only DA was a slasher."
The counselors weren't taking any chances with the corpses. Legend has it that the camp was built on an Indian burrial ground. Doom was to befall anyone who buried a multilated corpse on this hallowed land, so they were throwing the bodies in the lake. Besides the obvious stench, it wasn't like it was going to bite them in the ass later.
"We should have found them all days ago," one of them said. "Psychos are supposed to be scary, drooling seething monsters. Who do we know who fits that description?"
"HRAAAAGHHHH! WAT TAH 'ELL AHG YE ALL DOOEN!!! YE CAHHNT THRAW BAAHHDEES IN TAHHT LAEK!!! THE GAUST'LL GIT YAH!"
Everyone turned around to see the CC, waving his broomstick and yelling in some language or another, "TAHN YOOL AAHVE THE GAUSTS AHND-"
"He's trying to do some sort of voodoo curse, get him," one of the counselors cried. Then they all tackled CC and drowned him in the lake before he could finish.
When they searched CC's cabin, they found that he was just a scary janitor, not a scary psychopath.

Dear CC,
You are the Creepy Janitor. You're a gnarled, old caretaker with an unintelligable accent and have a squeeky cart. Obviously that's evidence of psychosis. You appear guilty when investigated by the Young Cop. You win when all the slashers are dead.

Had they listened to CC, there probably wouldn't be the possibility of a crappy sequel.

*************

Fiery just finished doing laundry, and carried a basket of sheets up to his room. He usually didn't do laundry that often, but today he felt like doing it. As he was folding the sheets, he thought about how dense they were. You really couldn't see through them, and they were difficult to move around in when asleep. Why did they use these sheets in the summer? Why was he thinking about sheets when there was a killer on the loose? Why are they volunteering to be counselors at a camp where there seems to be no children in sight? Fiery shrugged it all off. He was too tired to think tonight.
He heard the sound of breaking glass from behind him. there was a figure in a red suit, slowly crawling though the window door. As he finally made it through, Fiery could clearly see the figure, the killer was...Santa? The man was in a Santa suit, his face obscured by a fake wig, and he pulled a barber's razor out of his pocket.
Fiery started to look around, hoping to find something to defend himself. A mattress, a lamp, an AK-47; nothing...except the bedsheet he spent so much time describing to himself! That was it! He threw the sheet on the killer, blinding him. He lumbered around, trying to slash at Fiery, but unable to move with the wool sheet on him. Fiery through the laundry basket on top of the killer for good measure and pushed the Santa slayer out the second story window.
When Fiery went outside to find the body of the killer, he found nothing but the basket and the blanket. On the blanket, scrawled in blood, was the message "I'll be back again someday..."

[Breaker]

Sticking with Lightnix

[Admiral Mundane]

Max

[Hunter]

Voting for Max

[somebody probably]

Max.

[Rhinoce Breakdancerus]

Lightnix-1
Max-3

You would think that in finding the counselors that were out of place, the counselors would have singled out the one with the expensive dress jacket, ascot, and Italian leather shoes. But they chose now to kill Max Fuchs. "Unhand me, you fiends," Max said, "My father's a politician, and when he finds out what you've been doing, he'll have the governor and half the police force out for you!"
"I don't care if he is a killer at this point," said one of the counselors, "He's so obnoxious, I just want to kill him so he'll shut up already."
Everyone agreed. So they held his head under the water until he drowned.

Later, when everyone searched his cabin, they found a lot of fancy clothing, and personalized letterhead from his father's campaign.

Dear Max,
You are the Rich Bastard. Of all the rich, spoiled teens just volunteering as counselors for their college resumes, you are the richest, most spoiled teen doing this for your resume. As a result, everyone respects and hates you at the same time. Your vote counts double when voting to see who dies. You win when all the slashers are dead.

**************

"Hey bro!"
Zae was standing at Lightnix's door with a six-pack of beer. "So yeah, I was at this party at Camp Keelhoverandie, it's off the chain, dude."
"Off the chain," Lighnix asked, sounding somewhat confused.
"Yeah dawg. Off the chain." There was a puzzled look from Lightnix, "Off the chain. Tight. Badass. Awesome. Ya know?"
"Oh. 'Off the chain'. I thought you meant something else."
"Dude, what else could it be?"
Just then, Lightnix kicked Zae to the ground and wrapped a massive chain around Zae's neck, pulling it tighter and tighter. "I thought you meant this. Bro."
Zae would have said "Dude, not cool," but Lightnix gave the chain a final pull and finally strangled him.

************

"We interrupt this minute by minute commentary on a nearby car chase to give you some shocking news on a massacre at Camp Crimson Lake." The news reporter was talking completely seriously, but could hardly contain the excitement inside him. Such a development was bound to raise their ratings. "As you may know, a group of psychopaths escaped the St. Sebastian Mental Facility. Apparently, five of them, Fade, Xad, Lightnix, Hunter, and Darkangel, escaped to Camp crimson Lake, to reek as much havoc as they did 15 years ago. We have some footage of the violence occurring, but be warned. This footage is not for the faint of heart."
The screen then changed to a scene at Camp Crimson Lake. Fiery was seen running away, as Breaker was being held down and about to be killed with a cordless drill by the killers. Fiery ran up to the cameraman. "Why the Hell are you doing anything? Call the police, help Breaker...DO SOMETHING YOU BASTARDS!!!"
"Hey Fiery, we have a surprise for you," Fade was in a bear suit, carrying an acetylene torch, "Let's make Fiery fiery."
"HEELLLL..."static.
"And on a lighter note," the reporter said, turning to a different camera, "a viral video of a kitty on a Roomba."

Dear Zae,
You are the Party Boy. After a night of drunken carousal, you can choose to crash at someone else's cabin. But if that person gets targeted by the slashers, you are also killed. You when all the slashers are dead.

Dear Xad,
You are a Slasher. No one understands you. I mean, just because you killed all your counselors when you were a child and painted the walls with their entrails, doesn't mean you're a bad person, right? RIGHT?! Oh well, you and DA, Lightnix, Fade, and Hunter need to get together and decide who to kill each night. You win when there are more slashers than counselors.

Dear Lightnix,
You are a Slasher. No one understands you. I mean, just because you killed all your counselors when you were a child and painted the walls with their entrails, doesn't mean you're a bad person, right? RIGHT?! Oh well, you and Fade, Hunter, Xad, and DA need to get together and decide who to kill each night. You win when there are more slashers than counselors.

Dear Fade,
You are a Slasher. No one understands you. I mean, just because you killed all your counselors when you were a child and painted the walls with their entrails, doesn't mean you're a bad person, right? RIGHT?! Oh well, you and Hunter, Xad, DA, and Lightnix need to get together and decide who to kill each night. You win when there are more slashers than counselors.

Dear Hunter,
You are a Slasher. No one understands you. I mean, just because you killed all your counselors when you were a child and painted the walls with their entrails, doesn't mean you're a bad person, right? RIGHT?! Oh well, you and Xad, DA, Lightnix, and Fade need to get together and decide who to kill each night. You win when there are more slashers than counselors.

Dear Breaker,
You are a Stoner. Hey man, that was a bit of clairvoyance you had there. Bringing all those drugs (which you meant for medicinal purposes...really) in the event raging psychopaths came to stab and maim everyone. Once a night, you can choose one person to get high with. While high, neither of you can be killed by slashers, but the person you choose is also unable to fulfill their night role. You win when all the slashers are dead.

Dear Fiery,
You are the Last Girl. Congratulations. You've abstained from sex, alcohol, and drugs! So you get to watch as all your friends die around you, knowing the killers are coming for you in the end. You cannot be targeted by the slashers, but can still be executed in the day. You win when all the slashers are dead.

[red]Slashers Win[/red]

[dynamicsonic]

Aww, HEEL YEAH!

\M/

[Hunter]

This one was pretty easy.

So, who hosts next?

[Adramelech]

This was quite good. Even though I didn't make it past the first day

[The Pletch]

5 slashers for a 16-person group is more than a bit excessive, I have to say. That's actually extreme imbalance.
This, of course, does not change the fact that our voting patterns sucked horribly.

[Fiery]

The fu-....FIVE SLASHERS FOR THIS NUMBER OF PEOPLE, ROBY? ARE YOU MAD?

We never had a chance!


Tron hosts next.

[dynamicsonic]

Jul 11, 2009 10:07:05 GMT 10 Fiery said:

The fu-....FIVE SLASHERS FOR THIS NUMBER OF PEOPLE, ROBY? ARE YOU MAD?

BOOYAH, MOTHERF*CKER!!!

_{I'm sorry, I got a little carried away. I promise I won't do it again, can I step of the corner now?}

So... ZaeV Mafia's next. This is gonna be bro-awesome.

[Rhinoce Breakdancerus]

I usually make 1/3 of the people Vamps. Though then again, I've never had a group this big. I should have tossed in a vig or something to balance it out. If I ever do this again, I'll try to keep this in mind.

[The Pletch]

...
The usual ratio is one vamp per FIVE people. FIVE, not THREE. 1/3 is absolutely ridiculous regardless of group size.

[Max Füchs-Kojote]

Certainly not without a proper protective role (if someone tells me Jailkeeper is a proper protective role, you're a twit). And one of our two investigators being inactive.

-

And it's not 1/3 of the people. One vamp to three people perhaps, but that's still a bit excessive.