Post by Oberstleutnant Insipid on Aug 1, 2011 13:25:28 GMT 10
(Anyone who can think of something to be added to the first or second books let me know.)
The Scripted History of Sonic Vegemite
According to Doomsday
By the glory of Matt
As it was written, so it shall be done
BOOK I. GENESIS
CHAPTER I
OF THE FORMATION OF SONIC VEGEMITE
In the beginning, there was darkness over the earth. Noobs and porn ran rampant over the world, and nothing was deemed sacred.
All this changed with the coming of Kulock, the Fox-Moogle.
Kulock was resplendent in his shining light, and all who looked upon Him would be lost in awe.
For many years, Kulock travelled across the earth, preaching peace and good quality sprites. And everywhere He went, He gathered many followers, who inspired and were inspired by Him. These followers called themselves Mooglers, after Kulock.
When at last the Mooglers' numbers became too great, He decided to build a kingdom in which they could live.
So Kulock went to a small but stable mountain, and summoned forth His mighty spriting powers to cut a great hole into the mountain.
The Mooglers gathered wood, stone, and PHP, and built a great kingdom within the mountain, according to Kulock's wishes.
Kulock looked at this creation and saw that it was good. He blessed it, and named it the Moogle Cavern, so that all who wish to find peace in the harsh world may settle there and live in prosperity.
And with the blessing of Kulock, the Moogle Cavern became a beacon of light in the darkness.
Many years passed, and the Mooglers created many great things which made the Moogle Cavern a beautiful place indeed.
Chief among these were called 'hoaxes'. Although intended to decieve, many hoaxes were beautiful works of art, often more beautiful than what they were meant to imitate.
One Moogler wished to spread the joy of hoaxes across the world. He had ideas of his own kingdom, seperate from but in harmony with the Moogle Cavern. He was named Matt The Yak.
Soon a day came where Matt decided to approach Kulock, to ask permission to leave and build a new kingdom of his own.
When Matt entered the throne room, he could see the Fox-Moogle in all his splendour, and looked away, for He was too bright for his mortal eyes.
"Hark," spake Kulock, "Who enters my chamber?"
"Matt the Yak." came the reply.
"What business has Matt the Yak?"
"I wish your permission to travel abroad and begin my own kingdom in Your honour, that the word of Kulock be known to those outside the Cavern."
Kulock hesitated, for he saw that Matt was frail, and could not survive long on his own in the outer darkness. But Matt was strong of heart and mind, and the Fox-Moogle could see his determination.
"You have my permission, and my blessing, Matt the Yak." Kulock replied, and Matt was awash with joy, and thanked Kulock's name.
"Go to the smithy and he shall outfit you so that you may survive in the outer darkness." spake Kulock.
So Matt went to the smithy, and he was given robotic parts to augment his ability. And Matt became Matt the Cyborg.
For many long days and nights Matt wandered in the outer darkness to search for a place to build his kingdom.
And he was tempted by many things, such as porn and 4chan, but he turned them away as he remembered his holy quest.
At last he found a place and deemed it the perfect site for the new kingdom. However, he had no materials with which to build.
He wandered again for a while and found some HTML, and put it together, dubbing the small site Sonic Vegemite.
Matt was not pleased with Sonic Vegemite, as it was small and ugly. So he prayed to Kulock for help, and Kulock answered, and Matt's eyes were opened.
With his newfound knowledge, Matt laboured for days and nights to make Sonic Vegemite bigger and better, until it became respectable and drew large numbers.
Matt realised that he needed a place for all of these people to come together and live. He saw a site nearby that was called Proboards, and soon the Sonic Vegemite Message Board was formed.
At this moment, the heavenly light of Kulock shone down on Matt, and he began to glow with a holy aura. Thus Matt became the Person in Charge.
CHAPTER 2
OF THE FIRST MODERATOR
Sonic Vegemite Message Board started slowly at first. Although many people came to visit, few stayed. But slowly and surely, a small userbase grew. These were known as SVers, and the first SVers are today known as Oldbies, or the First Generation.
The first generation included Dtails, and Geewoody, and Neo Cydude, and Kcan, and Eco, and Ragey, and Metal Shadow, and Bishonen Taurus, and Stargirl, and Tenebrais, and many more. Though some of these Oldbies were to stay on, many would eventually leave for new lands, never to be heard of again, or return after many years of wandering.
In the beginning, Sonic Vegemite Message board was split into four sections.
The first section was named General, and it was an open plenum for all to discuss serious issues affecting not only Sonic Vegemite but the outer darkness.
The second section was named Hoaxes, and it was a place for SVers to submit their hoaxes to be scrutinised by the populace, and Matt himself. If they were deemed worthy, the hoaxes would be put up in the great library at Sonic Vegemite for all to see.
The third section was named Fluff, and it was the most unruly of all the sections. In Fluff the SVers were free to let loose about whatever strange rants they desired, without being entirely serious.
The fourth and final section was named The Battle Cry of Freedom - and Advertiser, and it was a great marketplace for all to show off their wares that others may delight of them.
When the forum was young, so too were its members, and they all floricked gaily in the message board spreading sunshine and emoticons.
There was, however, a scourge in their midst. It went by the name of KCan.
There came a day where Matt had some important business to take care of, and was not able to watch over the land for some time. He dreaded what would happen if Kcan was to be set loose about the board, and thus asked DTails to come forth.
He laid his hands on Dtails and set upon him a medallion on which was engraved a green star.
"Henceforth," spake Matt, "You are General Moderator, or Person in Charge, Kinda." He was to be the first of many to take this post, as were named Tenebrais, WDot, MysteriousBob, Max Füchs and Fiery Pyrus, but that is another story.
And all of the Moderators were entrusted by Matt with a magic item through which they channeled their power: D was granted the great scythe of Deletion, with which to wipe history.
Although at first D was inexperienced, and set about culling old discussions with a swipe of his scythe, he soon came to reason and was much more lenient with deletions, though his fiery demeanor still remained.
Soon after, Matt banned Kcan. He was to be the first banished from the lands of Sonic Vegemite, never to return.
Hereafter are listed others who have been banished.
CHAPTER 3
OF THE OTHER MODERATORS
And it soon came to pass that D alone could not keep the forum in line. For many troubled and malign souls, who have since been banished, were to come. And more moderators were needed.
So it was that Matt looked around and found two more members who were worthy of being peacekeepers.
He summoned them to his chamber to recieve their green stars in a special ceremony.
The two that were given this honour were named WDot and MysteriousBob.
"Henceforth," spake Matt, "You are General Moderators, or People in Charge, Kinda."
And the Moderators were entrusted by Matt with a magic item through which they channeled their power.
WDot was granted a great black key with which to lock any door forever. And although his rage was seldom seen, he would seal away troublemakers forever.
MysteriousBob was granted a great fire inside his heart which unlocked in him a great fighting power. And he was known to create huge fighting tournaments which would be visited by people from far and wide.
Soon another would be given the title of General Moderator, or Person in Charge, Kinda, by the name of Tenebrais. And he was granted an ancient evil tome, whose power was to be used sparingly but wisely.
Thus ended the first age of Sonic Vegemite, and began the second age.
Book II (The Troubles) has the following chapter listing so far and is about half complete:
OF THE UNHOLY TRINITY
OF DEJIKO
OF THE BEAST TIMBERWOLF
OF THE FORGOTTEN WAR
OF THE NEW MODERATORS
OF THE LOCKDOWN
Book III (as yet unnamed) is to start with THE REVIVAL and is of course yet to be written
The Scripted History of Sonic Vegemite
According to Doomsday
By the glory of Matt
As it was written, so it shall be done
BOOK I. GENESIS
CHAPTER I
OF THE FORMATION OF SONIC VEGEMITE
In the beginning, there was darkness over the earth. Noobs and porn ran rampant over the world, and nothing was deemed sacred.
All this changed with the coming of Kulock, the Fox-Moogle.
Kulock was resplendent in his shining light, and all who looked upon Him would be lost in awe.
For many years, Kulock travelled across the earth, preaching peace and good quality sprites. And everywhere He went, He gathered many followers, who inspired and were inspired by Him. These followers called themselves Mooglers, after Kulock.
When at last the Mooglers' numbers became too great, He decided to build a kingdom in which they could live.
So Kulock went to a small but stable mountain, and summoned forth His mighty spriting powers to cut a great hole into the mountain.
The Mooglers gathered wood, stone, and PHP, and built a great kingdom within the mountain, according to Kulock's wishes.
Kulock looked at this creation and saw that it was good. He blessed it, and named it the Moogle Cavern, so that all who wish to find peace in the harsh world may settle there and live in prosperity.
And with the blessing of Kulock, the Moogle Cavern became a beacon of light in the darkness.
Many years passed, and the Mooglers created many great things which made the Moogle Cavern a beautiful place indeed.
Chief among these were called 'hoaxes'. Although intended to decieve, many hoaxes were beautiful works of art, often more beautiful than what they were meant to imitate.
One Moogler wished to spread the joy of hoaxes across the world. He had ideas of his own kingdom, seperate from but in harmony with the Moogle Cavern. He was named Matt The Yak.
Soon a day came where Matt decided to approach Kulock, to ask permission to leave and build a new kingdom of his own.
When Matt entered the throne room, he could see the Fox-Moogle in all his splendour, and looked away, for He was too bright for his mortal eyes.
"Hark," spake Kulock, "Who enters my chamber?"
"Matt the Yak." came the reply.
"What business has Matt the Yak?"
"I wish your permission to travel abroad and begin my own kingdom in Your honour, that the word of Kulock be known to those outside the Cavern."
Kulock hesitated, for he saw that Matt was frail, and could not survive long on his own in the outer darkness. But Matt was strong of heart and mind, and the Fox-Moogle could see his determination.
"You have my permission, and my blessing, Matt the Yak." Kulock replied, and Matt was awash with joy, and thanked Kulock's name.
"Go to the smithy and he shall outfit you so that you may survive in the outer darkness." spake Kulock.
So Matt went to the smithy, and he was given robotic parts to augment his ability. And Matt became Matt the Cyborg.
For many long days and nights Matt wandered in the outer darkness to search for a place to build his kingdom.
And he was tempted by many things, such as porn and 4chan, but he turned them away as he remembered his holy quest.
At last he found a place and deemed it the perfect site for the new kingdom. However, he had no materials with which to build.
He wandered again for a while and found some HTML, and put it together, dubbing the small site Sonic Vegemite.
Matt was not pleased with Sonic Vegemite, as it was small and ugly. So he prayed to Kulock for help, and Kulock answered, and Matt's eyes were opened.
With his newfound knowledge, Matt laboured for days and nights to make Sonic Vegemite bigger and better, until it became respectable and drew large numbers.
Matt realised that he needed a place for all of these people to come together and live. He saw a site nearby that was called Proboards, and soon the Sonic Vegemite Message Board was formed.
At this moment, the heavenly light of Kulock shone down on Matt, and he began to glow with a holy aura. Thus Matt became the Person in Charge.
CHAPTER 2
OF THE FIRST MODERATOR
Sonic Vegemite Message Board started slowly at first. Although many people came to visit, few stayed. But slowly and surely, a small userbase grew. These were known as SVers, and the first SVers are today known as Oldbies, or the First Generation.
The first generation included Dtails, and Geewoody, and Neo Cydude, and Kcan, and Eco, and Ragey, and Metal Shadow, and Bishonen Taurus, and Stargirl, and Tenebrais, and many more. Though some of these Oldbies were to stay on, many would eventually leave for new lands, never to be heard of again, or return after many years of wandering.
In the beginning, Sonic Vegemite Message board was split into four sections.
The first section was named General, and it was an open plenum for all to discuss serious issues affecting not only Sonic Vegemite but the outer darkness.
The second section was named Hoaxes, and it was a place for SVers to submit their hoaxes to be scrutinised by the populace, and Matt himself. If they were deemed worthy, the hoaxes would be put up in the great library at Sonic Vegemite for all to see.
The third section was named Fluff, and it was the most unruly of all the sections. In Fluff the SVers were free to let loose about whatever strange rants they desired, without being entirely serious.
The fourth and final section was named The Battle Cry of Freedom - and Advertiser, and it was a great marketplace for all to show off their wares that others may delight of them.
When the forum was young, so too were its members, and they all floricked gaily in the message board spreading sunshine and emoticons.
There was, however, a scourge in their midst. It went by the name of KCan.
There came a day where Matt had some important business to take care of, and was not able to watch over the land for some time. He dreaded what would happen if Kcan was to be set loose about the board, and thus asked DTails to come forth.
He laid his hands on Dtails and set upon him a medallion on which was engraved a green star.
"Henceforth," spake Matt, "You are General Moderator, or Person in Charge, Kinda." He was to be the first of many to take this post, as were named Tenebrais, WDot, MysteriousBob, Max Füchs and Fiery Pyrus, but that is another story.
And all of the Moderators were entrusted by Matt with a magic item through which they channeled their power: D was granted the great scythe of Deletion, with which to wipe history.
Although at first D was inexperienced, and set about culling old discussions with a swipe of his scythe, he soon came to reason and was much more lenient with deletions, though his fiery demeanor still remained.
Soon after, Matt banned Kcan. He was to be the first banished from the lands of Sonic Vegemite, never to return.
Hereafter are listed others who have been banished.
CHAPTER 3
OF THE OTHER MODERATORS
And it soon came to pass that D alone could not keep the forum in line. For many troubled and malign souls, who have since been banished, were to come. And more moderators were needed.
So it was that Matt looked around and found two more members who were worthy of being peacekeepers.
He summoned them to his chamber to recieve their green stars in a special ceremony.
The two that were given this honour were named WDot and MysteriousBob.
"Henceforth," spake Matt, "You are General Moderators, or People in Charge, Kinda."
And the Moderators were entrusted by Matt with a magic item through which they channeled their power.
WDot was granted a great black key with which to lock any door forever. And although his rage was seldom seen, he would seal away troublemakers forever.
MysteriousBob was granted a great fire inside his heart which unlocked in him a great fighting power. And he was known to create huge fighting tournaments which would be visited by people from far and wide.
Soon another would be given the title of General Moderator, or Person in Charge, Kinda, by the name of Tenebrais. And he was granted an ancient evil tome, whose power was to be used sparingly but wisely.
Thus ended the first age of Sonic Vegemite, and began the second age.
Book II (The Troubles) has the following chapter listing so far and is about half complete:
OF THE UNHOLY TRINITY
OF DEJIKO
OF THE BEAST TIMBERWOLF
OF THE FORGOTTEN WAR
OF THE NEW MODERATORS
OF THE LOCKDOWN
Book III (as yet unnamed) is to start with THE REVIVAL and is of course yet to be written
