Post by Naem on Oct 31, 2009 7:42:27 GMT 10
Have you ever looked at a random game and thought "Hmm, I wonder if I should play that, even if it's only to see if it's as bad as everyone says"? If you have, you're a pretty dumb person. I, however, think this all the time, and I know some of you do as well. I, my friends, am here to save you from potential pain and suffering.
I am here to play the worst games so you don't have to.
And that is pretty much what this thread is about. Don't expect a regular update schedule, I'm pretty busy these days, both with serious business and just plain old fun. Please note that I will only play a game in its entirety if it is SHORT. I don't completely hate myself.
Today, I shall be playing Bright Shadow, a free MMO which recently entered open beta. The idiotic name is the first thing to stand out, but there is much more to be said about this game. Well, shall we?
We can expect great things from this game, judging by the launcher.
Well, damn, just look at these fearsome warriors. I just hope they're of legal age.
Now we get to create our bright-eyed androgynous warrior.
While you can randomise your features, this game actually has some level of customisation you might want to try.
...Actually, disregard my opinion. In one of the few anime MMOs I tried, you couldn't even change your face, so I have no idea if there even is any standard to go by here.
There we go. ONWARDS--
Nope, wait, we have to do this obligatory and mostly pointless thing first, hang on.
There we go-- wait, do we have to buy additional character slots? LORD NELSON'S TROUSERS.
...Okay, now we're ready to go. ONWARDS, KAWAII CLASSLESS HEROINE FOORU AYASU (=^_^=), TO GLORY AND--
Where the hell are we?
Oh, we have to listen to the plot in EXPOSITION ZONE first. Alright.
blah blah blah IIIII'll just spare you this crap.
Sure, whatever the hell that is. Just let me play.
...Yeah, I have no idea what happened there either.
OH, HEY, A TOWN. Also, there is no WASD in this.
...We need some freaking clothes. This tutorial girl's bound to have something for us, right?
You. Girl. I want your things. Everything you have.
...Oh, we're not even doing a quest or anything. We're just proving that we have some common sense.
I wanted to go with the second answer, honestly.
Can we go kill things now?
...What's that? We have to talk to all the tutorial people first? Urrrrgh.
I... was under the impression I had already done so.
But this isn't really creating... Oh, whatever, let's get through this.
More exciting questions. I just want some freaking clothes, I think I could go to jail just for...
Wait, we start out with them in our inventory? They could have said something!
I searched and searched for an option to make headgear invisible.
I just ended up taking it off, because screw looking even more like everyone else. Now, I see more giant exclamation marks in the background there. Let's keep clicking through text.
...Is this an euphemism for something?
what should I pick guys
I kind of understand. I'd feel insecure about my gender too, if I were him.
I think we'll be done soon. I THINK.
I'm getting bored, though. Let's check out the always important emotions.
SUGOOOOOOOOI~
TT_TT... Wait, "Play"? I'm scared.
...Oh, it's just dancing. Phew.
Oh, craaap, is that a panty shot? Let's stop this before SV starts getting a whole lot of traffic for all the wrong reasons.
CRAP. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAP.
And this little tidbit of text made as much sense in context as it does now.
Again, I would have answered "I guess it is 'J'" if not for the fact that I was freaking sick of the game by this point.
I tried doing this afterwards. I'm pretty sure it didn't work.
You're not mandatory? Go away.
REALLY? FINALLY? YESSSS
...Oh FINE.
zzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzgive me your stuff now
Oh, I guess we're finally going to kill things! Hell yeeeeaaah!
We're going to kill SLIMES
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
also the umbra are the monsters in this game I guess
click click click
Also, I'm getting BETTER armour, I guess.
Oh hey I'm done
In a surprising twist, we get to kill different things next.
...Still beats talking to everyone, though.
Oh, yeah, and there's actually a twist now.
THE LITTLE BASTARDS RUN AWAY. They still die, only it takes longer.
...UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
...I'm pretty sure these two guys have the same model. Also, I still know nothing about how skills work. Let's hope things will be cleared up now.
Yeah, okay. Skills. SKIIILLS.
...He hasn't said anything about skills yet, but I don't even mind, because that is a pretty freaking great name for a monster.
...Is this about skills? I have no idea.
Oh, the developers don't even give a damn.
...So I guess this was more like... a limit break, but I still couldn't figure it out.
However, I almost feel like seeing that... thing made this piece of crap worth it.
LOOK. LOOKIT LITTLE MR. WATER DROP :33333333
...I clicked the wrong thing.
JESUS. FINALLY.
Oh, good. A reward. That almost makes this bearable.
...Level 6? Well, I'm level 6 too. Shouldn't be a problem. Sure, it might help if I actually knew anything about skills, but still...
...Actually, I'm not quite sure anymore.
...That's all, folks.
Forever.
NEXT TIME: I'm not sure yet! If I figure out how to show you a terrible Japanese game while not breaking the NO PORN rule, you can expect a series of the sexiest turnabouts ever! Otherwise... I'm open to requests.
I am here to play the worst games so you don't have to.
And that is pretty much what this thread is about. Don't expect a regular update schedule, I'm pretty busy these days, both with serious business and just plain old fun. Please note that I will only play a game in its entirety if it is SHORT. I don't completely hate myself.
Today, I shall be playing Bright Shadow, a free MMO which recently entered open beta. The idiotic name is the first thing to stand out, but there is much more to be said about this game. Well, shall we?
We can expect great things from this game, judging by the launcher.
Well, damn, just look at these fearsome warriors. I just hope they're of legal age.
Now we get to create our bright-eyed androgynous warrior.
While you can randomise your features, this game actually has some level of customisation you might want to try.
...Actually, disregard my opinion. In one of the few anime MMOs I tried, you couldn't even change your face, so I have no idea if there even is any standard to go by here.
There we go. ONWARDS--
Nope, wait, we have to do this obligatory and mostly pointless thing first, hang on.
There we go-- wait, do we have to buy additional character slots? LORD NELSON'S TROUSERS.
...Okay, now we're ready to go. ONWARDS, KAWAII CLASSLESS HEROINE FOORU AYASU (=^_^=), TO GLORY AND--
Where the hell are we?
Oh, we have to listen to the plot in EXPOSITION ZONE first. Alright.
blah blah blah IIIII'll just spare you this crap.
Sure, whatever the hell that is. Just let me play.
...Yeah, I have no idea what happened there either.
OH, HEY, A TOWN. Also, there is no WASD in this.
...We need some freaking clothes. This tutorial girl's bound to have something for us, right?
You. Girl. I want your things. Everything you have.
...Oh, we're not even doing a quest or anything. We're just proving that we have some common sense.
I wanted to go with the second answer, honestly.
Can we go kill things now?
...What's that? We have to talk to all the tutorial people first? Urrrrgh.
I... was under the impression I had already done so.
But this isn't really creating... Oh, whatever, let's get through this.
More exciting questions. I just want some freaking clothes, I think I could go to jail just for...
Wait, we start out with them in our inventory? They could have said something!
I searched and searched for an option to make headgear invisible.
I just ended up taking it off, because screw looking even more like everyone else. Now, I see more giant exclamation marks in the background there. Let's keep clicking through text.
...Is this an euphemism for something?
what should I pick guys
I kind of understand. I'd feel insecure about my gender too, if I were him.
I think we'll be done soon. I THINK.
I'm getting bored, though. Let's check out the always important emotions.
SUGOOOOOOOOI~
TT_TT... Wait, "Play"? I'm scared.
...Oh, it's just dancing. Phew.
Oh, craaap, is that a panty shot? Let's stop this before SV starts getting a whole lot of traffic for all the wrong reasons.
CRAP. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAP.
And this little tidbit of text made as much sense in context as it does now.
Again, I would have answered "I guess it is 'J'" if not for the fact that I was freaking sick of the game by this point.
I tried doing this afterwards. I'm pretty sure it didn't work.
You're not mandatory? Go away.
REALLY? FINALLY? YESSSS
...Oh FINE.
zzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzgive me your stuff now
Oh, I guess we're finally going to kill things! Hell yeeeeaaah!
We're going to kill SLIMES
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
also the umbra are the monsters in this game I guess
click click click
Also, I'm getting BETTER armour, I guess.
Oh hey I'm done
In a surprising twist, we get to kill different things next.
...Still beats talking to everyone, though.
Oh, yeah, and there's actually a twist now.
THE LITTLE BASTARDS RUN AWAY. They still die, only it takes longer.
...UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
...I'm pretty sure these two guys have the same model. Also, I still know nothing about how skills work. Let's hope things will be cleared up now.
Yeah, okay. Skills. SKIIILLS.
...He hasn't said anything about skills yet, but I don't even mind, because that is a pretty freaking great name for a monster.
...Is this about skills? I have no idea.
Oh, the developers don't even give a damn.
...So I guess this was more like... a limit break, but I still couldn't figure it out.
However, I almost feel like seeing that... thing made this piece of crap worth it.
LOOK. LOOKIT LITTLE MR. WATER DROP :33333333
...I clicked the wrong thing.
JESUS. FINALLY.
Oh, good. A reward. That almost makes this bearable.
...Level 6? Well, I'm level 6 too. Shouldn't be a problem. Sure, it might help if I actually knew anything about skills, but still...
...Actually, I'm not quite sure anymore.
...That's all, folks.
Forever.
NEXT TIME: I'm not sure yet! If I figure out how to show you a terrible Japanese game while not breaking the NO PORN rule, you can expect a series of the sexiest turnabouts ever! Otherwise... I'm open to requests.
