Post by stupid hos is my enemy on May 19, 2008 5:07:57 GMT 10
Yeah, bandwagon, I know. It was FE's suggestion, so I'm clear of any unoriginality clause.
Anyway. Let's Play!, with Harvest Moon. Roll film.
DISCLAIMER: The opinions and beliefs within by no means reflect mine. Also, huge doses of barely-masked profanity ahead. You have been warned.
What? Oh, hello to you, you miserable tw*t. Can't even wander derelict farms without people announcing deaths in your face these days.
Apparently I just did. 'Chu gonna do about it?
You could say that. Though I'd rather deny it.
No, but no need for the crocodile tears. This is great news! I hated the b*stard!
Will, eh? A few alterations here and there and I stand to make a tidy profit here. Hand it over, fruitcake.
What? NO! Dickins, not f*cking Dickings. I hate that old tw*t.
Taking care of it? It looks like a stoner's bedroom. When I take custody of it, you shall be hearing from my lawyer.
What? Did you not hear me the first time? DickINS. But yes, my deaf senile friend, this is property is mine now. So I suggest you get off it.
No! Mind your own business and get the hell off my land before I phone the police!
What the...? Oh, no, not a bloody flashback. So much for personal privacy. Oh, yes, I remember this trip. No, mum, I wasn't glad, it was more boring than watching Scottish football.
For a little father-son bonding? No thank you kindly. I'm f*cking out of here.
Yes, that's because it's pitch black. Light hasn't been invented in the countryside yet.
No, I'm crying because I miss colour. What the hell is this brown crap, anyway?
How the hell can you see my bag from all the way over there, you freak? And I'll be damned if I'm gonna give my phone number to an old pervert. You wanna call my parents, huh? You gonna tell them I'm dead and keep me in your basement as your little sex slave, is that it? I can see right through your evil schemes, paedophile.
Oh, great, light has just been uninvented again. Was that beige just a test run or something?
Yeah. Shame there's nothing to see, because everything is pitch black. Puts a real downer on your sight-seeing.
What? No! Don't make me stay with that old paedophile! He's after my arse, I swear to you!
No, he doesn't, let's just go home.
You don't know what sort of company he's looking for! Fly, you fools! You know not your peril!
F*ck.
*****
I f*cking hated that chicken.
Hey to you too. Can't an aryan man sleep in peace?
Good lord, a woman. Begone, having some man time here.
Play- Did you not hear me the first time? Get back to the bloody kitchen! When I want sex, I shall tell you!
Oh lord, you're one of those liberal "gender equality" folk, arn't you? Sex is about the man. You, the woman, should just lie back and think of England.
The jury will decide that when I tell them what happened in your basement.
WOULD YOU TOUCH YOUR OWN GRANDCHILDREN LIKE YOU TOUCHED ME? GOOD LORD, YOU SHOULD BE LOCKED UP
For now. I'll see you in court in two weeks time.
Oh lawdy lawdy, are you really that desperate? Don't worry, you'll be receiving plenty of mail from my lawyer.
Oh good LORD. a/s/l? 16/f/cali. Now f*ck off.
Yes, woman. What of it?
Boo hoo. Don't worry about me, I'll have found another woman within the month.
Well. You were quite the shag, so...
Shut it, old man. I'm coming back for her booty, not yours.
I'll be waiting for your prison sentance.
He sent me letters. I sent him subpeonas.
No, I came here because he never showed up in court. I was going to relieve him of all his property, but apparently he's given it all to me anyway.
Oh wonderful. I was going to take it anyway.
The farm? I think it's sh*t.
Great! Now get off my property.
Let the mayahem begin!
Ah, what a glorious morning. I'm in such a good mood, I think I'll have a lynching today. Now, let's see...
A sickle, eh? This'll be good for any blackies I come across.
This'll make short work of the kikes.
And this I'll save for any bleeding-heart liberal types.
...The hell is this? Pedometer? Did that old b*stard keep track of how many kiddies he fiddled? I think I'll make point of sh*tting on his grave today.
...Did I not tell you to get the f*ck off my property, you raging homosexual?
No, that won't be necessary. I'm selling this place on eBay then I'm going home.
What? I received the finest in evangelical home-schooling! I know how to done pick stuff up! And what the hell is this A button sh*t? You been at the mushrooms?
Astute observation, Inspector Sherlock. If you insult my intelligence one more time, I'll sickle your face off.
I'm reaching for the sickle, boi. You better start runnin' or we'll be havin' ourselfs a mighty fine lynching today.
...What? B button? I'm going to put your stupidity down to one hell of an acid trip.
Let me think carefully about this.
No.
I assure you, this is entirely for my own benefit.
START? Get off my land, you horrible little druggy.
Damn right. And I'm going to start by EJECTING YOU FROM IT.
Money first, eh? I knew you were a dirty Jew!
Do I look like some hill billy to you? I'll make some disposable income by relieving you of your valuables.
Urgh. A hive of f*ggotry and communism, I expect.
Yodel farm? If anyone does any yodelling they'll be receiving eviction notices. There's gonna be some damn changes around here!
Oh, White God, you're ALL paedophiles! Take your dirty instrument of measurement back, I shan't be partaking in any of your backwards town's perversions.
Not if the police get to you first, you heathen.
Now I actually get to start playing the game.
Anyway. Let's Play!, with Harvest Moon. Roll film.
DISCLAIMER: The opinions and beliefs within by no means reflect mine. Also, huge doses of barely-masked profanity ahead. You have been warned.
What? Oh, hello to you, you miserable tw*t. Can't even wander derelict farms without people announcing deaths in your face these days.
Apparently I just did. 'Chu gonna do about it?
You could say that. Though I'd rather deny it.
No, but no need for the crocodile tears. This is great news! I hated the b*stard!
Will, eh? A few alterations here and there and I stand to make a tidy profit here. Hand it over, fruitcake.
What? NO! Dickins, not f*cking Dickings. I hate that old tw*t.
Taking care of it? It looks like a stoner's bedroom. When I take custody of it, you shall be hearing from my lawyer.
What? Did you not hear me the first time? DickINS. But yes, my deaf senile friend, this is property is mine now. So I suggest you get off it.
No! Mind your own business and get the hell off my land before I phone the police!
What the...? Oh, no, not a bloody flashback. So much for personal privacy. Oh, yes, I remember this trip. No, mum, I wasn't glad, it was more boring than watching Scottish football.
For a little father-son bonding? No thank you kindly. I'm f*cking out of here.
Yes, that's because it's pitch black. Light hasn't been invented in the countryside yet.
No, I'm crying because I miss colour. What the hell is this brown crap, anyway?
How the hell can you see my bag from all the way over there, you freak? And I'll be damned if I'm gonna give my phone number to an old pervert. You wanna call my parents, huh? You gonna tell them I'm dead and keep me in your basement as your little sex slave, is that it? I can see right through your evil schemes, paedophile.
Oh, great, light has just been uninvented again. Was that beige just a test run or something?
Yeah. Shame there's nothing to see, because everything is pitch black. Puts a real downer on your sight-seeing.
What? No! Don't make me stay with that old paedophile! He's after my arse, I swear to you!
No, he doesn't, let's just go home.
You don't know what sort of company he's looking for! Fly, you fools! You know not your peril!
F*ck.
*****
I f*cking hated that chicken.
Hey to you too. Can't an aryan man sleep in peace?
Good lord, a woman. Begone, having some man time here.
Play- Did you not hear me the first time? Get back to the bloody kitchen! When I want sex, I shall tell you!
Oh lord, you're one of those liberal "gender equality" folk, arn't you? Sex is about the man. You, the woman, should just lie back and think of England.
The jury will decide that when I tell them what happened in your basement.
WOULD YOU TOUCH YOUR OWN GRANDCHILDREN LIKE YOU TOUCHED ME? GOOD LORD, YOU SHOULD BE LOCKED UP
For now. I'll see you in court in two weeks time.
Oh lawdy lawdy, are you really that desperate? Don't worry, you'll be receiving plenty of mail from my lawyer.
Oh good LORD. a/s/l? 16/f/cali. Now f*ck off.
Yes, woman. What of it?
Boo hoo. Don't worry about me, I'll have found another woman within the month.
Well. You were quite the shag, so...
Shut it, old man. I'm coming back for her booty, not yours.
I'll be waiting for your prison sentance.
He sent me letters. I sent him subpeonas.
No, I came here because he never showed up in court. I was going to relieve him of all his property, but apparently he's given it all to me anyway.
Oh wonderful. I was going to take it anyway.
The farm? I think it's sh*t.
Great! Now get off my property.
Let the mayahem begin!
Ah, what a glorious morning. I'm in such a good mood, I think I'll have a lynching today. Now, let's see...
A sickle, eh? This'll be good for any blackies I come across.
This'll make short work of the kikes.
And this I'll save for any bleeding-heart liberal types.
...The hell is this? Pedometer? Did that old b*stard keep track of how many kiddies he fiddled? I think I'll make point of sh*tting on his grave today.
...Did I not tell you to get the f*ck off my property, you raging homosexual?
No, that won't be necessary. I'm selling this place on eBay then I'm going home.
What? I received the finest in evangelical home-schooling! I know how to done pick stuff up! And what the hell is this A button sh*t? You been at the mushrooms?
Astute observation, Inspector Sherlock. If you insult my intelligence one more time, I'll sickle your face off.
I'm reaching for the sickle, boi. You better start runnin' or we'll be havin' ourselfs a mighty fine lynching today.
...What? B button? I'm going to put your stupidity down to one hell of an acid trip.
Let me think carefully about this.
No.
I assure you, this is entirely for my own benefit.
START? Get off my land, you horrible little druggy.
Damn right. And I'm going to start by EJECTING YOU FROM IT.
Money first, eh? I knew you were a dirty Jew!
Do I look like some hill billy to you? I'll make some disposable income by relieving you of your valuables.
Urgh. A hive of f*ggotry and communism, I expect.
Yodel farm? If anyone does any yodelling they'll be receiving eviction notices. There's gonna be some damn changes around here!
Oh, White God, you're ALL paedophiles! Take your dirty instrument of measurement back, I shan't be partaking in any of your backwards town's perversions.
Not if the police get to you first, you heathen.
Now I actually get to start playing the game.
