Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you... The truth.
<ElCapitan> Hey, I'm only a 13 year old girl on fridays.
<Darkangel> XD
<Xad> It's true, DA >>
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Fiery_Pyrus> And you're a full-grown bitchy one on saturdays.
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Fiery_Pyrus> Unless that's what you meant.
<ElCapitan> And then on sunday I'm a whore.
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Fiery_Pyrus> Are sessions all on fridays now?
<ElCapitan> Oh no, it's natural progression.
<ElCapitan> I live out three important stages in a woman's life in three days.
<Darkangel> XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
<Xad> XD
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Fiery_Pyrus> Ah. I see it's helped you keep your perspective on women.
<Xad> So for three days, you can't leave the kitchen?
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Fiery_Pyrus> oh snap
<ElCapitan> Yeah. And then for four days I BLARGH the KIPPERS out of your mum.
<Darkangel> Have you tried doing the konami code on google reader?
<Xad> So THAT'S what she's doing
<ElCapitan> It's a vicious cycle
<ElCapitan> So I've got the hang of having sex through time and space. Next stage is dimensions.
<Xad> Wait, time? You can have sex in the future/past?
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Fiery_Pyrus> Creating Eco is *not* 'getting the hang of" time sex.
<Xad> XD
<ElCapitan> Well, no, but there will always be accidents in experimentation.
<Darkangel> And here comes DA's random jabber of random woards. As inreciting a list
<Darkangel> PENIS
<ElCapitan> DA
<ElCapitan> DA
<ElCapitan> MAN
<ElCapitan> DO NOT INVITE THIS KIPPERS UPON YOURSELF
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Fiery_Pyrus> Consider the possibility under a time theory allowing for alternate timelines to overtake the primary one without any sort of predestination clause.
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Fiery_Pyrus> That would mean
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Fiery_Pyrus> We were living nice and fine to that point
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Fiery_Pyrus> WITHOUT ECO
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Fiery_Pyrus> And you went and BLARGHed with things.
<ElCapitan> Correction. I went and BLARGHed Eco's mum.
<Darkangel> Maybe I should shut up
<Darkangel> for eternity
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Fiery_Pyrus> Don't be emo. It doesn't suit you. Crazy mexican.
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Fiery_Pyrus> Anyhow. Look what you've done, Fade!
<ElCapitan> I've created a monster.
<ElCapitan> It was in the name of science!
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Fiery_Pyrus> Do you feel no remorse? Was banging a loose peruvian chick REALLY worth it?
<ElCapitan> BLARGH yes.
<ElCapitan> How else d'you think Sonar was born?
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Fiery_Pyrus> You didn't...! WHY?
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Fiery_Pyrus> What sort of modern day Frankenstein are you?! Some gene combinations clearly don't work!
<ElCapitan> Because I hate all life.
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Fiery_Pyrus> So you create more
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Fiery_Pyrus> ?!
<Darkangel> Look, just because you BLARGHed the bastard incest of Eco doesn't mean you have to let ORLY live
<ElCapitan> In order to make existing life suffer, yes. Timberwolf was a result of my attempts to impregnate God.
<Darkangel> (canihazjoiningtochatz?)
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Fiery_Pyrus> So you're suggesting Timberwolf is some manner of accidental holy child.
<Darkangel> XD
<ElCapitan> Yeah. He's got a bit of a Oedipus complex going on
<Darkangel> Oh god
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Fiery_Pyrus> Isn't the common agreement among non-crazyfeminists that God is typically closer to a male entity, and therefore visually represented as such?
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Fiery_Pyrus> If there's an Oedipus complex, are you not the mother TW wishes he could bang?
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Fiery_Pyrus> IS HE OUT TO KILL GOD SO HE CAN HAVE YOU?
<ElCapitan> I don't know. That kid is BLARGHed up.
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Fiery_Pyrus> That would explain his apparent bastardization of what he claims is his own religion.
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Fiery_Pyrus> Or is TW simply a clot of blood from the bloody battle resulting from you colliding penises with God?
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Fiery_Pyrus> Why does this all make my head hurt?
<ElCapitan> Because it's the truth, Fiery. The meaning of life. The reason behind all pain, joy, suffering and happiness.
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Fiery_Pyrus> Then.. The big bang was...? No..!
<ElCapitan> I have been there throughout the history of existence, using my semen to nudge evolution in the right direction.
<ElCapitan> Yes.
<ElCapitan> The big bang was a result of a really bad chicken Vindaloo.
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Fiery_Pyrus> Oh. I was going to suggest when you "banged" God, but alright.
<Xad> XD
<ElCapitan> Oh no.
<ElCapitan> God came after that.
<ElCapitan> He was a result of the First Cumming.
<ElCapitan> After I invented masturbation
<ElCapitan> My semen was left floating in the void of space for so long that it gained sentience
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Fiery_Pyrus> And thus Fade ascended as the patron of a new religion started by Blackbird. Blackbird would praise the glory of Fade until the day he died, lonely, before a stained glass window of Fade's cock. The religion would then become about profit and hypnosis and would compete with Scientology, soon after ending the world when fanatics killed themselves and everyone else. The end.
<ElCapitan> The end of the world will be the Nuclear Bukkake
<ElCapitan> Everyone will be taken over by the irresistable urge to have a giant, worldwide orgy.
<ElCapitan> Then they will starve to death and die.
<ElCapitan> Just the way I planned it.
<ElCapitan> Then the leftover semen from the monumental orgy will, over time, create a second God, who isn't a bitch like the first one, and will not demand CSA from me.
<ElCapitan> Then I will build a new species from scratch, since that whore got to it before me. And I will do it better.
<Boinciel> Isn't that the god from the second testament
<Boinciel> Or am I just getting it wrong?
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Fiery_Pyrus> You need to write a book, Fade.
<ElCapitan> BLARGH, you're right
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Fiery_Pyrus> Then I'll have the choice to not read this.
<ElCapitan> Oh, no. There's no escaping the truth.
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Fiery_Pyrus> Amusingly enough, I agree with that statement. Feel free to determine why on your own.
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Fiery_Pyrus> Say, where'd DA go? Isn't cutting himself, is he?
<ElCapitan> I dunno. Maybe he's started "praying" to me.
<ElCapitan> In other words, masturbating.
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Fiery_Pyrus> Uh huh.
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Fiery_Pyrus> Well, I hope he's being careful if he's doing both.
